Confronting abusive parents: parenting advice from Care and Feeding.
6 years, 3 months ago

Confronting abusive parents: parenting advice from Care and Feeding.

Slate  

Care and Feeding is Slate’s parenting advice column. It’s an expensive building, as is most every place in L.A. We mostly get along very well—except for a family with two small children, a 4-year-old girl and a 2-year-old boy. The neighbors who know about this hate what’s happening but don’t want to get involved; I think someone has to step up to help these children from being mistreated! Also, I wish my mom could handle misunderstandings without hurting MY feelings, but that’s like an additional 10,000 words chronicling 36 years of slights. The one time it’s probably not ideal is in the middle of Grandma giving a raspberry, because she will think you are implying that she is someone your kid should be protecting himself from.

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History of this topic

When siblings fight: Parenting advice from Care and Feeding.
2 years ago

When siblings fight: Parenting advice from Care and Feeding.

Slate  

Care and Feeding is Slate’s parenting advice column. One resource you might find helpful is Ellyn Satter’s Division of Responsibility in Feeding, which makes the case for giving kids some control over their diets. I also know that a different school might only help ameliorate the academic issues, and he might still have social issues, even if he’s surrounded by …

When stepsiblings clash: Parenting advice from Care and Feeding.
2 years, 3 months ago

When stepsiblings clash: Parenting advice from Care and Feeding.

Slate  

Care and Feeding is Slate’s parenting advice column. Slate Plus Members Get More Advice from Michelle Each Week From this week’s letter, My In-Laws’ Pushy Offers to “Help” With My Baby Are Driving Me Nuts: “When they are at the house, I feel like I’m being judged the whole time.” Dear Care and Feeding, Both of my children are childfree. …

How to handle moving: Parenting advice from Care and Feeding.
55 years, 2 months ago

How to handle moving: Parenting advice from Care and Feeding.

Slate  

Care and Feeding is Slate’s parenting advice column. During the time I’ve lived here, I’ve seen countless families move away, and I wouldn’t fault you one bit for getting a bigger bang for your buck elsewhere. We talked about it, with me presenting the stellar local daycare we can afford with upcoming openings as our alternate option and he said …

Conspiracy theorist relatives: parenting advice from Care and Feeding.
55 years, 2 months ago

Conspiracy theorist relatives: parenting advice from Care and Feeding.

Slate  

Care and Feeding is Slate’s parenting advice column. Please don’t use the word “insane.” I don’t think it’s a terrible thing for kids, even young ones, to learn that it is possible to love people even when they are … well, let’s use the words cranks and crackpots. And I think the oldest of the younger kids can be talked …

Pit bull biting kids: parenting advice from Care and Feeding.
55 years, 2 months ago

Pit bull biting kids: parenting advice from Care and Feeding.

Slate  

Care and Feeding is Slate’s parenting advice column. I let them know I won’t be bringing my son now, and now my mom is begging me to give in and come, saying that I shouldn’t let my sister and her partner’s efforts to save a “poor dog,” in her words, “break up the family.” Am I wrong or biased against …

Battles with exes: parenting advice from Care and Feeding.
55 years, 2 months ago

Battles with exes: parenting advice from Care and Feeding.

Slate  

Care and Feeding is Slate’s parenting advice column. Even now, as an adult, these are the type of friends he’s drawn to, which has resulted in him thinking this is “normal” behavior. Today my ex told me that by teaching my son not to interrupt people, I’m “ruining his life” and “crippling his chances to enjoy normal social interaction with …

Faith and family: parenting advice from Care and Feeding.
55 years, 2 months ago

Faith and family: parenting advice from Care and Feeding.

Slate  

Care and Feeding is Slate’s parenting advice column. Now my sister has told me that our parents have told her that if our son ever asks them about religion, they’ll “tell him the truth,” including the fact that my husband is going to hell, if they’re directly asked. I’ve told the story before in this column—of the meltdown she had …

Starting a family: parenting advice from Care and Feeding.
4 years, 5 months ago

Starting a family: parenting advice from Care and Feeding.

Slate  

Care and Feeding is Slate’s parenting advice column. I’ve always been upfront about my desire to be a parent but never thought of it as something particularly urgent, especially since I think I might want to adopt. —Baby Rabies Dear BR, I think if you’re having “swirling emotions” right now and have to keep them to yourself, you’re going to …

Can a childless friend give parenting advice? in Care and Feeding.
55 years, 2 months ago

Can a childless friend give parenting advice? in Care and Feeding.

Slate  

Care and Feeding is Slate’s parenting advice column. —Wanting to Help Dear Wanting, I know you mean well, but there is absolutely zero chance that your friend doesn’t already know that “if the parents operated on the same page and supported each other,” things might possibly be easier. Dear Care and Feeding, We are parents of an only child who …

Positive parenting: advice from Care and Feeding.
55 years, 2 months ago

Positive parenting: advice from Care and Feeding.

Slate  

Care and Feeding is Slate’s parenting advice column. I am a firm believer in the principle of “your child isn’t giving you a hard time—they are having a hard time.” I follow Daniel Siegel’s Whole-Brain Child advice in managing behavioral issues, big feelings, etc., and I have always and consistently done the “validate, listen, reflect” process with Alice. But here’s …

Parenting style criticism: parenting advice from Care and Feeding.
4 years, 6 months ago

Parenting style criticism: parenting advice from Care and Feeding.

Slate  

Care and Feeding is Slate’s parenting advice column. Dear Care and Feeding, I love my tiny demon child so much, but I’m sick of nursing. Advice seems to say just cuddle her and give her a cup, but she doesn’t actually like cuddles and again, the cup doesn’t dissuade her from nursing at all. For more of Slate’s parenting coverage, …

Child pleading for sibling: parenting advice from Care and Feeding.
55 years, 2 months ago

Child pleading for sibling: parenting advice from Care and Feeding.

Slate  

Care and Feeding is Slate’s parenting advice column. Dear Care and Feeding, I’m the mother of a bright and sociable 6-year-old, “Jane.” She is an only child for many reasons, but the overriding factor was economic—we’re median earners in an area with high housing costs, my husband and I both work full time, and we simply couldn’t afford to have …

Kids can’t be anything they want: parenting advice from Care and Feeding.
55 years, 2 months ago

Kids can’t be anything they want: parenting advice from Care and Feeding.

Slate  

Care and Feeding is Slate’s parenting advice column. Dear Care and Feeding, I can’t ask my mom or friends this question because it’ll sound like I’m bragging, when I’m really just completely perplexed. We’ve never done any type of phonics or “reading training.” My husband and I like to read, but it’s not an obsessive thing. My spouse is happy …

Bad influence friends: parenting advice from Care and Feeding.
55 years, 2 months ago

Bad influence friends: parenting advice from Care and Feeding.

Slate  

Care and Feeding is Slate’s parenting advice column. Do you think he’s your friend?,” our son can’t help but think of him as a friend or even as an older boy to look up to. My answer was “BUILD A MASSIVE FUCKING SHED AGAINST THE FENCE SO THIS KID CAN’T HASSLE YOUR SON,” which I stand by as a valid …

When kids prefer one parent over another: parenting advice from Care and Feeding.
55 years, 2 months ago

When kids prefer one parent over another: parenting advice from Care and Feeding.

Slate  

Care and Feeding is Slate’s parenting advice column. She kisses and snuggles me all the time, volunteers “I love you” to me on the regular, writes me notes about missing me when I’m working, and so on. When I feel especially bad, I talk to my wife and my therapist and I read articles online that say things like “don’t …

Little kids and farting: parenting advice from Care and Feeding.
5 years, 2 months ago

Little kids and farting: parenting advice from Care and Feeding.

Slate  

Care and Feeding is Slate’s parenting advice column. She’s started to get teased in kindergarten for “having the stinkiest farts.” When she told us this last week, my husband counseled her to say “So what?” and then if the kid persists, lean in, sniff his breath, and tell him: “Yeah? Lots of people can relate to being like “THEN YOU …

Generational dysfunction: parenting advice from Care and Feeding.
5 years, 2 months ago

Generational dysfunction: parenting advice from Care and Feeding.

Slate  

Care and Feeding is Slate’s parenting advice column. Drop your end of the rope with your grandmother and if, next Christmas, the kids ask, “Aren’t we going to be forced to say Merry Christmas to your bad grandmother?,” you can reply, “I think it’s better for us to focus on our own family instead of throwing good energy after bad” …

When your child is a jerk: parenting advice from Care and Feeding.
55 years, 2 months ago

When your child is a jerk: parenting advice from Care and Feeding.

Slate  

Care and Feeding is Slate’s parenting advice column. Dear Care and Feeding, My twin daughters will soon turn 7, and I’m throwing a birthday party for them in our home. Beyond how crowded our house would be, I feel bad that this child isn’t even allowed two hours away from her brother, or her parents for that matter. —Party-Challenged Dear …

In-laws and wedding drama: parenting advice from Care and Feeding.
5 years, 5 months ago

In-laws and wedding drama: parenting advice from Care and Feeding.

Slate  

Care and Feeding is Slate’s parenting advice column. Dear Care and Feeding, How do I best help support my teenager’s mental health during the college application process? The problem is that we’re approaching college application time, and given his test scores, academic record, etc., everyone around him expects him to be applying to all the most-selective schools. In no particular …

Privileged parents at an underprivileged school: parenting advice from Care and Feeding.
55 years, 2 months ago

Privileged parents at an underprivileged school: parenting advice from Care and Feeding.

Slate  

Care and Feeding is Slate’s parenting advice column. Your son should not talk to his friends about how much money his family has and should also understand that some of the things that he can take for granted may be out of reach for his classmates’ parents. —Babies Needin’ Babies Dear BNB, Having children requires most parents to step outside …

Newborn crying: parenting advice from Care and Feeding.
5 years, 8 months ago

Newborn crying: parenting advice from Care and Feeding.

Slate  

Care and Feeding is Slate’s parenting advice column. Dear Care and Feeding, I’m almost due with my first, so I’m in that “what if I’m a terrible mother” phase. By signing up, you agree to our Privacy Policy and Terms Sign Up Dear Care and Feeding, My 2-year-old loves to kick us while we’re changing her diaper. —Nicole More Advice …

The surprise bris: parenting advice from Care and Feeding.
5 years, 10 months ago

The surprise bris: parenting advice from Care and Feeding.

Slate  

Care and Feeding is Slate’s parenting advice column. I’ve done everything short of saying “Because I don’t want to host a penis party to expose my son to the world.” Through my fiancé’s sister, we were warned of my future mother-in-law’s plan to host a “surprise” bris at our house a week after the birth! —We Do Not Want a …

Small children and wiping: parenting advice from Care and Feeding.
5 years, 11 months ago

Small children and wiping: parenting advice from Care and Feeding.

Slate  

Care and Feeding is Slate’s parenting advice column. I’ve tried to explain gift-giving, being grateful, and even donating old toys to charity but he seems too young to really understand and it ends in tears. I’ve asked my in-laws to please stop buying him presents, but he’s so used to it that he asks every time he speaks to them …

Criticizing a friend’s parenting: parenting advice from Care and Feeding.
5 years, 11 months ago

Criticizing a friend’s parenting: parenting advice from Care and Feeding.

Slate  

Care and Feeding is Slate’s parenting advice column. I pretty much know this is rhetorical, because my friend wouldn’t accept any advice from me anyway, since I’m not a parent, but is there anything I can say? By signing up, you agree to our Privacy Policy and Terms Sign Up Dear Care and Feeding, I’m expecting my first child at …

Independent toddlers: parenting advice from Care and Feeding.
6 years, 1 month ago

Independent toddlers: parenting advice from Care and Feeding.

Slate  

Care and Feeding is Slate’s parenting advice column. —JOHNNY DO IT Dear Johnny’s Parent, It’s remarkable, isn’t it, how little comfort “this is completely normal, developmentally speaking” is when you’re in the freaking shit. !” mill will be, in a few years, a great comfort when other people’s perfectly-capable children are still standing around limply insisting that someone else put …

Parenting advice on disagreements about health care for kids.
6 years, 6 months ago

Parenting advice on disagreements about health care for kids.

Slate  

Care and Feeding is Slate’s parenting advice column. Dear Care and Feeding, My husband and I frequently disagree about treating our daughter’s various childhood ailments. However, here’s the good news: It doesn’t sound like either one of you is so extreme in your views as to put your daughter in extreme harm’s way. Our friends’ daughter attended this school last …

Care and Feeding: parenting advice on going out, politeness, and revealing paternity.
7 years, 1 month ago

Care and Feeding: parenting advice on going out, politeness, and revealing paternity.

Slate  

Care and Feeding is Slate’s parenting advice column. Dear Care and Feeding, My husband of one year has a son who is 6—let’s call him James. My husband’s father went into the room, said goodbye, and gave James $20. And even if we don’t get to make them do what we want in the moment—my favorite parenting advice ever came …

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