Emotional Labor Is Even More Exhausting This Holiday. Here's What To Do.

Marko Geber via Getty Images Usually by this time in December, I am a tightly wound ball of anxiety, constantly checking and rechecking the calendar and gift lists to ensure that the holiday season proceeds without any major catastrophes. “This year necessitates a lot of creativity in making sure family ‘stays close while apart,’ which means potentially coming up with an entirely new plan for the holidays,” said Cathy Cassani Adams, a licensed clinical social worker, co-host of “Zen Parenting Radio” and author of the forthcoming book “Zen Parenting.” “The uncertainty is at an all-time high, but women feel tasked to carry on and find as much holiday spirit as possible,” she continued. “It’s a new kind of exhaustion ― less about a busy party season, and more about staying optimistic and figuring out new ways to find joy.” The lack of standby festivities amid the coronavirus pandemic hasn’t necessarily eased the burden of emotional labor that normally comes this time each year. “This holiday season will go down in history as one of the most innovative,” said Dee Evans, a life coach consultant and author of “Procrastination: A Kingdom Perspective on the Theology of Work.” “You don’t have to throw out all of your holiday traditions, but be open to modifying them and creating new ones.” Even though we may be loath to add another Zoom to our quarantine schedules, Evans stresses that connection is vital and suggests using all our available technology to stay close to loved ones ― whether that means sending TikToks back and forth or sitting down to Christmas dinner with grandma and grandpa on video. It’s a new kind of exhaustion ― less about a busy party season, and more about staying optimistic and figuring out new ways to find joy.” - Cathy Cassani Adams Instead of feeling guilt for what doesn’t get done, focus on the why for making that decision.