Are you suffering from relationship burnout?

Sign up to our free Living Well email for advice on living a happier, healthier and longer life Live your life healthier and happier with our free weekly Living Well newsletter Live your life healthier and happier with our free weekly Living Well newsletter SIGN UP I would like to be emailed about offers, events and updates from The Independent. “Relationship burnout happens when one or both partners are exhausted,” says chartered psychologist Jess Baker, who coauthored The Super-Helper Syndrome: A Survival Guide For Compassionate People alongside Rod Vincent. It might mean it’s time to end things, but there can also be ways to turn it around.” BACP counsellor Margaret Ward-Martin, founder of The Grace Project, describes relationship burnout as “a bit like buying a house and only noticing the damp patches after you move in”. “If there is abuse – physical, financial, emotional, psychological, moral or spiritual – it’s important to keep yourself safe and seek help,” Ward-Martin says. Give each other time to say how you both feel, without judgement, in the spirit of wanting to improve things.” Ward-Martin says letting go of perfectionism is a good first step: “It’s unhelpful – as humans we are fundamentally flawed.” As is apologising for your role in contributing to the situation, which means three things: “A meaningful apology, an amend, and not repeating the cause of sorrow.” If you’re struggling to deal with the issues that come up, relationship counselling may help, and there are practical steps you can take to reestablish intimacy.